[photo credit: google]
"I know what it means to be in pains and deep sorrow"
says a young man in his mid-twenties. Let me tell you a story; please permit me
to use the moniker AA as the name this individual bears. This is about someone
I do frequently exchange pleasantries with.
At every opportunity I would hail him, sometimes I would
lift my two hands in honor of him [Yes, I do it exactly as our friends who earn
their living at motor parks hail themselves].
It does seem as, though, that yours-truly now has a
thing for such behavioral manner to things and people. Maybe we all do,
after-all, I am sure you know what I mean –I’m alluding to when you have to
greet people in a more subtle and funny way; for some of us we could sometimes
be silly and naughty in how we go about it. We do these things more often when
we just want to let-loose and have fun. It is true that life is too short to be
too serious!
What I am saying is that, on some occasions I try to
be creative with how a pleasantry is exchanged between me and close pal. So, it
happened that earlier today my very-self and AA were walking down a path
together onward to same destination. I should include, however, that before today
we have had a similar moment some days back that got me to share with him some
of the lowest period in my private life. I look forward to when I’d put it in a
write up and post it online.
I suppose that writing about my lowest and humbling
moment and eventual bounce-back may help strengthen individuals who may be
going through unexplained and indescribable trying-moments of their lives. There’s
a miracle waiting on the other side of whatever you may be passing through.
Hang in there and don’t throw in the towel.
“I was born with a silver spoon” –AA, “We had everything
and more, but one day everything changed”. When he uttered those lines I looked
right into his face and figured I may just have standing beside me someone who
also may have had an experience with life in its ‘diversity’ I.E twists and
turns. At this point, we had ceased walking and AA began to pour out his mind.
As he brings forth more words from his mouth, I knew
right away that we were in for a long moment of heart-pouring and story-telling.
And I desired to catch every bit of what AA has in stock to share. If AA has so
much to share then it’s only fair that I suggest we find a place to sit. So, I
pointed to a building, and suggested we walk inside to have our seat.
Few seconds after, we were sitting opposite each
other with just some inches apart. He continues…
“We were like gods to people; almost everyone on the
street admired us because we had everything” –AA
My late Dad was a custom officer says the young man.
“Custom officer, oh I see” –I muttered in my mind
I know that NCS, with the way it is currently structured,
offers avenues for extra hand-outs to their men-in-uniforms, especially
officers who have their duty posts along border lines, Airports, Seaports etc.
In January 2014, it began that AA’s Dad had a slight
headache; days after –a complaint of something that appeared to be a mere
headache snowballed into a complicated matter. Few weeks down the line,
according to AA, who by the way happened to be the first born of the five
children his late Dad has –said –the sickness which at the time had grown to a
few weeks old reared a monster head, his late Dad’s stomach began to swell, and
it grew like that until it was so big. [I was not there o, but these are the
information shared by the deceased son].
At this point, the first child said they began to
expend so much funds gallivanting from one hospital to another, moving from
churches to churches all to no avail. The desired healing wasn’t forthcoming and
whilst this situation persists the family was now losing money and resources.
What started off as headache has now put the whole
family into disarray. AA’s late Dad –for six months –was severely sick and
completely indisposed. AA said he virtually watched his father’s skin turned
darker until it became so black.
“My Dad’s body was now completely black” –AA. He
continues…
“We have our own building in Badagry, we even have tenants,
I am sure you know what that means”
“My Mom had a mini supermarket and we make tens of
thousands on daily basis”
However, it happened that before the young man’s
father eventually gave up the ghost exactly six months into what seemed like a
devastating and health-rending (if there’s a word like that) journey of
horrifying sickness, AA’s mother’s supermarket had almost turned to a shadow of
itself.
“When my Dad died, everything changed and our lives
came crumbling down” –AA
“My Mom became so burdened due to the fact that she
has five children to look out for, and almost all our resources had gone toward
trying to keep our late dad alive” “The load was just too much for my Mom to bear”
–AA
The first son as he continues to brief me his life
experiences, however –thought it needful to point out that at the time of his
Dad’s death a lot of people pledged support to the deceased family. AA said “Oh,
a lot of people made promises to stand by us but as months and years got down
the line it turned out to be empty words of mouth”
In the face of this trying moment at its earliest
stage; someone offered to take up AA’s wellbeing and that of his immediate
brother. In 2015, AA and his immediate brother were conveyed to Obafemi Awolowo
University, Yes –their benefactor happens to lecture in the renowned tertiary
school.
For reasons best known to their helper, the man who
lectures at OAU couldn’t get the two champs to stay with the new family in the
main building, AA said –himself and his brother were relegated to the B-Q. Well,
according to him they had no problem with where they had to stay.
By the mid of 2015, “things were getting tougher for
us in OAU” –AA. “We were continually been fed with garri and indomie, we barely
had any money to ourselves” Speaking, the first son.
“So, my brother and I thought about the idea to look
for something to engage ourselves with which could put some money into our
pockets”
“A few buildings from where we stayed was a man who
owned a dry-cleaning shop” –AA
The two brothers took a bold step to walk up to the man
who runs the dry-cleaning business; they offered to assist him [the
dry-cleaner] in his business. They offered to lend a helping hand and made it
known right away that they’d be content with whatever hand-outs that came out
of the service rendered to him.
Meanwhile, AA and his brother were not sure of the
possible reaction that may follow –if their benefactor got to hear about their sojourn
in the dry-cleaning shop. As a result, they kept rending their service at the
shop without pre-informing the owner of the house where they now stayed in OAU.
The shop was closer to their house, so the two
brothers were able to hear the call of their names anytime their attention was
needed at the main building of the B-Q where they stayed. The two of them would
immediately leave whatever they may be doing at that moment and would dash into
compound of the house –more often –through the back gate.
It continued like that until a fateful day their neighbor
–whose building was also in the compound. At this time, he [AA] tried to
explain the manner and structure through which houses were built and arranged
in their location, in a fashion synonymous to how staff houses are built in
University habitations.
Their neighbor’s house was robbed in the night preceding
the morning that things took a different turn for the two brothers in OAU. However, fortunately for AA and his brother
they had a good alibi –they had worked overnight along with the shop owner at
the dry-cleaning spot. Yet the two of them were accounted as suspects to the
unfortunate incidence. Their neighbor was hell-bent because, according to AA,
he worried that the two brothers were some jobless youth in the big compound who
had no means of livelihood.
AA’s benefactor [the OAU lecturer who brought the
two brothers to ile-ife where the university is domiciled] wasn’t patient
enough to lay hold to that which is true even though the man who owned a
dry-cleaning business came forth to testify that the brothers had worked with
him the night the incident happened.
One thing led to the other, AA and his brother found
themselves back in Badagry where their Mom is barely holding on to life as she
was living from hand to mouth. I had compassion for AA when he described what
his Mom’s physical look had been reduced to. He said “My Mom who used to be a
choppy, good looking and healthy-skinned woman was now so thin and badly shaped,
because she was really struggling and couldn’t stop having depressing thoughts”
It was not long that AA’s immediate brother joined a
group who abused the use of marijuana.
“Nothing was
working, so the whole family was in disarray” –AA. “I felt bad when my brother
began to smoke marijuana, I tried my best to stop him from going down that path
but I couldn’t help to save the situation”
“Such a horrifying moment of my life, as I have had
to suffer rejection and humiliations from people –most painfully, though, are
the ones suffered in the hands of those my parents had once helped.”
By the end of 2015 and early 2016 AA got an
admission for higher education at Tai Solarin University of Education.
At this point I interjected with a question as I
wondered –a family who has gone through serious financial crisis and dejection –
how were they able to afford higher education for one of its wards [I must have
missed the opportunity to also ask about the current level of education of his
younger ones] so I asked the first son how he was able to pay his tuition and
other fees as required by the institution. It is necessary that I point out
that AA is currently in his final year.
After my question to him, I leaned back to hear his
response… AA continued, “We went through hell and high waters to pay my year
one fees which I was so luck to pay just days to my first examination at the
campus”
“Around that time my mom was given the opportunity
to work at Lagos State University, actually –she finished from that institution
where she bagged her B.Sc. [second class lower] honors. So, she had –at the
time –picked up a 25,000 naira a month job at the institution and in other to pay
my fees she took an advance salary and made a few borrowings. Thereafter,
financial pressure mounted up on her again”
“You see, my Mom keep struggling –she had to spend
600 daily from Badagry to Ojo for transportation”
“Seeing all this, I made a pledge to myself not
bother her for financial help for the time-being”
Then it happened that AA got a favor from one of his
Aunties who offered to take up the burden for his tuition. AA said, there were –however
–other things [academic exercises that required financial inputs] which he
couldn’t afford to get done during his lower –level days which unfortunately accounted
for a poor Grade Point Average he had at a time. AA, a computer science
student, couldn’t stress his Aunty for further helps –he emphasized how badly
he needed a laptop to get some assignments done which never be and his Mom was
a “no go area”.
In the aftermath of AA’s poor performance at the
time, his Aunty lost interest and stopped paying his tuition. “But God came
through for me he said –through the help of a man in my Mom’s workplace who
offered to pay my final year tuition and made more promises to my mom to be
there for the family”
“My faith in God remains solid, despite temptations
to venture into internet fraud, honestly it got so bad sometimes in the past
that I got lured by a friend into doing Yahoo Yahoo, I knew it wasn’t something
I wanted to do, well it was a good thing that I did not receive any money from
it. And coming back to my senses, I quitted that wrong adventure on the
internet” –AA
I’ve had to squat with people throughout my school
life, moving from one place to the other. “I remembered staying with a friend
who enjoyed my time with him. I did everything to keep the room tidy, I washed
everything in sight, making sure my friend who accommodated me never had to do
a thing” –AA “And he sure made praises of me all the time.”
“I thank God for the turn-around my family has now
witnessed, my Mom was recently upgraded to Non Academic Staff cadre of Nigerian
Universities, so her salary has increased and she can now rise through the
ladder”
“My immediate brother who got entangled into the
smoking web sent a message to me some days ago, on how he had admired me from
afar, consistently viewing my status on social media, and how he is marveled by my steadfastness –how
I have been able to live a good life in spite of the phases we passed through.
And he is now ready to turn a new leaf and be like me” –AA
AA ended his story by making reference to the
dry-cleaning service he renders at a fee to close friends and neighbors. He has
been doing this and he looks forward to actually owning a shop soon.
I stood up and gave him a hug. You see friends, sometimes
we fall so flat to the ground that the only way we have; is to climb back up.
I ended my remark by saying to AA that it can only
get better from now on. I invited him to worship at my local assembly on Sunday
where yours-truly serves the Lord and abound in doing HIS work. He smiled and
gave a positive remark confirming he’d be glad to come.
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